The essay begins with Rachel Kaadzi Ghansah on her way to James Arthur Baldwin’s home. It’s the first time that she has a little extra money in her pocket, and a day-trip to the influential novelist’s home seems to her like a good way to spend the money. She talks about her prior intense admiration for the author which later turned to average appreciation for his work. She explains the point where she felt some sort of resentment for him. Her reason to resent him, though, wasn’t even his fault. She didn’t like how every essay having to do with race cited him. It frustrated her that he had so easily escaped to France, not having to face the reality that most black people were forced to accept in America. She didn’t like that he could so feasibly come back to protest and march for the rights of black Americans who didn’t have the same ticket that allowed him into and out of the country as he pleased.
As she sits on the train to his house, she begins to reminisce on a time when she appreciated James Baldwin more. It all started when she got an internship at a magazine. With all the stress and excitement of her first day on the job, she had managed to pick up on every detail about her surroundings except for the lack of people of color working for the magazine. After two editors confirmed with her that she was almost certainly the first black intern at this magazine, which had at that point existed for the past 150 years, she was shocked and became increasingly worried about her place at her job. She felt the weight of the entire black race on her shoulders. Everything she did reflected on the competence of all black Americans. She felt at ease with the people not on the editorial side of the magazine. It was more diverse, and she didn’t feel the need to be careful not to make even the slightest casual mistake that they could perceive as a reflection on her overall capabilities. When she was the only intern asked to do manual labor in the storeroom, reorganizing all the old copies of the magazine, she discovered her admiration for James Baldwin. Rather than lingering on the fact that she was locked away to the storeroom, she found a connection to James Balwin, a man who made it out of a metaphorical storeroom.
Ghansah goes into describing the displacement felt by black Americans, or what James Baldwin called “the heavy”. James Baldwin himself loved his country but could not respect it, so he left for a better life. He had to, he could, and so he did. Ghansah goes on to ponder the difference between the life and death of her grandfather and Baldwin, the two only four years apart in age. Her grandfather and Baldwin both sought dignity, and they were fearless black men. Her grandfather had next to nothing when he died, and Ghansah’s only inheritance from him was his ashes and his optimism “divested of its power”. Ghansah describes with unfortunate brilliance that whatever dignity that a black man gains in his life is at absolute odds with the national anthem.
In the next paragraph after this revelation, we arrive with Ghansah at Baldwin’s house. In short, it’s beautiful and elegant. Being in its presence brings Ghansah a sort of understanding for why Baldwin left for Europe. It wasn’t because of some “empty admiration for Europe”. It’s because anything is better than home. He felt the same way that all emigrants feel. He left for a better life, and in doing so he didn’t leave his people behind. He preserved himself. He went where he believed a gay, black man could thrive.
Baldwin’s home however will not exist a year after Ghansah visits. Even as she is experiencing the place where a great mind lived, it is old and abandoned. Ghansah claims that it’s easier to associate the house as it is now with Baldwin than the legacy he left behind. Baldwin died a black death, just like her grandfather did, remembered but over-simplified.
In this essay Ghansah clearly describes the reality of black people in America. She unfolds complex emotions that are easier to ignore than go into depth understanding, and she is harsh with her descriptions but honest.
Questions:
What kind of impact does this essay have on different kinds of people? Is it relatable, eye-opening, saddening, etc.?
How do you regard James Baldwin after reading this essay?
What do you think about the way that Ghansah’s opinion of Baldwin shifts as the essay goes on?
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